By Gloria Jones Ellis, M.A. – Educational Therapist & Co-Founder of Lighthouse Homeschool Solutions
Although there is a lot of division and distrust in our country these days, I think that it is important to teach children respect for all people, regardless of race, or nationality, or religion, or any other line of difference. Despite the antagonism people currently perpetuate against “wokeness,” I still believe that it is a worthwhile endeavor to educate young people in ways that help them to develop understanding, love, and acceptance for themselves and for every human around them. If you agree, read on!
Children are amazing and, for parents and educators who are invested in teaching them to respect and appreciate others, we mostly just need to get out of their way! I know that I, personally, hold biases and prejudices, and I want to avoid transmitting those beliefs or stereotypes to my children. I believe that considering and acknowledging the faults in my own thinking, as well as exposing my children to a lot of different opinions and beliefs (through literature, movies, and interactions with all types of people), offer some solid pathways for helping my children to develop the core values of empathy and respect for others.
Finally, I think asking children questions about their own beliefs, while encouraging them to consider how the perspectives of others may differ from their own and lead to different beliefs, is critical. So, as educators and parents, here are my ideas on how (using all of the following tools together) we can best teach our children respect for others.
Share Your Own Opinions While Acknowledging Faulty Beliefs
I think it is very valuable for parents to share their own beliefs and opinions on a regular basis. This is how we raise our children into young adults who share our values. But, even further, I believe we must acknowledge our own faulty beliefs and identify their origins in our lives. This may take some introspection, and it might feel uncomfortable or embarrassing to share, but I think adults really must acknowledge their biases and try to identify their origins when talking with young people.
“I often feel uncomfortable with… because my parents taught me that…”
“I learned in my church that…, so I always believed that…”
“Until I met…., I thought that…”
“After I read…., I started to understand…”
Ask Children What They Think
As you share your beliefs and opinions, while acknowledging their origins, you can ask your students or your children what they think and why. They will pick up your values from what you’ve shared and modeled, but they will develop and internalize their opinions much more if you ask them to clarify and explain the origins of their beliefs.
“What do you think of…?”
“Why do you think that….?”
“What do you like about…?”
“Has your experience taught you something different from what I learned as a child?”
Expose Young People to Different Perspectives
An amazing aspect of great literature is the way in which it inspires us to connect with the protagonists of stories, no matter how different their identities and their lives may be from our own. Through books, we can experience places and situations we never imagined, and in identifying with a protagonist with a very different background from their own, children develop empathy for others. The same can be said of movies, art, and other forms of media. This is why I think that it is so important to expose children to literature and art from a wide variety of perspectives.
While enjoying those activities together, or when hearing about them from your children, continue to ask important questions about their feelings and beliefs as well as questions that help them identify the perspectives and motivations of different characters.
“What do you think the author wants readers to feel?”
“Why do you think that character made that choice?”
“What emotions do you see in this painting?”
“Why do you think this person is feeling that way?”
Parents and educators can integrate these tools into daily experiences with children, and in this way, teaching respect and empathy becomes a joyous and engaging part of every day, without a lot of specific planning or effort. Just make it common practice to share your own beliefs and their origins, ask children about their beliefs, expose children to multiple perspectives through literature and art, and ask children to consider the perspectives of others!
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